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About Me

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Parker and I am a Boston Terrorist who now owns and controls Michael and Kristen. I have traveled all the way from California to be the president of the 'Squirrel Eviction Committee'. I prefer 350-count sheets and have sampled all balls- and the green tennis ones are the best. I have a master certification in sock thievery and hold a title for the longest drool drip-- 7.25" (under 15 lbs class). People often confuse me with Sarah Jessica Parker. I prefer my water to be infused with cucumber and expect Evian spritzes in the summer and a space heater next to my bed in the winter. My favorite song is 'I ain't too proud to beg' and I amaze everyone with my endless charm. My four 'S' system of satisfaction is: SHRED stuffed toys SCALP tennis balls SNIFF everything and SHED on your clothes

Oh, and here's my order: One McDonalds cheeseburger (hold the onions).

Interests

People tasting- but I'm not a snob, I taste each one I meet. I enjoy plotting the end of all nine lives of those lesbo cats next door, haute cuisine, watching 'E True Hollywood Story', and thumbing through People Magazine (I'm so excited the Beckhams are moving to LA).

Books

I am currently writing a book, 'Squirrels Don't Bark Back'.

Movies

                          

Music